I am the Queen of disjointed thinking. I like your hat! :-D

This is not a post so much as a ramble. It’s a list of things people have said to me during my life which they genuinely thought would be helpful for me to help manage chronic pain or stop being in pain at them, sometimes I’m not sure which. These will not be in any real order, except the order I remember them, and most of them are from before my diagnosis with fibromyalgia.

  • Maybe it’s just old age. I know you’re only twenty but some bodies are just meant to wear out before others. Maybe you’re just dying soon.
  • You just need to stop eating white bread. White bread is poison for the body and the day after you stop eating it you won’t have any more pain. [I tried this for three months. Nope]
  • Just drink more water, you’re probably dehydrated.
  • You just need to relax more.
  • Just say an affirmation three times a day that you have no pain and you won’t be in pain anymore. If it doesn’t work, it’s because you don’t have enough faith. [I tried this for three months, too. I obviously wasn’t desperate enough to not hurt all over all the time]
  • Do you pray? Do you pray to Jesus? Jesus won’t let any of His children suffer. Go to Him!
  • Wow! If you’re in this much pain at nineteen, imagine how bad it will be when you’re forty! [Thanks. I don’t already think about this every waking second. Handy reminder!]
  • Maybe if you stop walking funny your legs will stop hurting. [But I only “walk funny” because my…] Have you tried walking normal?
  • Give up sugar. Even fruit sugar. Absolutely no potatoes or tomatoes. [I stuck with this one until I got so skinny I started losing clumps of hair, and my body pain was actually much worse without a little fat on me]
  • Your hand hurts when you write because you hold your pencil wrong. [No, I can’t hold a pencil properly because my hand hurts] It wouldn’t hurt anymore if you held your pencil correctly. [But my hand has hurt since way before I ever held a pencil, and it’s both hands and…] Just hold your pencil properly and the pain will go away.
  • Why don’t you do something about it if you’re in so much pain? [Gee, I never thought of that. Thanks…]
  • You need to stop imagining you’re in pain. If you stop imagining it, the pain will go away.
  • Why do you lie to doctors and nurses? If you were really in pain you’d have a diagnosis by now. [Not actually advice, I know. I had to cop that one more than once, though]
  • Try giving up tea.
  • It sounds like what my cousin’s daughter had. She’s dead now.
  • Try giving up cola. Cola is really bad for you, it can clean a barbecue! [I have maybe one glass of cola a year at the most, but thanks person I’d never met before]
  • You need to play more sport, then your body will get used to it and it won’t hurt when you play sport.
  • Just take some Nurofen every day when you wake up, even before breakfast. I’ve been doing that since I was about fourteen and I’m never in any pain. [Were you in pain before you started doing that?] No. Why do you ask?
  • CAPSICUM! EVERY DAY! [Should I eat it in my ice bath?]
  • You poor thing! Do you think it’s from the vaccinations you got when you were a baby? [After invading my privacy to ask why I’m not taking the stairs when I’m “obviously young and healthy’]

This is just a sample. My age when I was told these things was eight to current day. Please activate brain before mouth, people of Earth.

Signed with love and a healthy dose of laughter,

The Pretty Kitty.


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